Sunday, March 04, 2012
Connecting voice and touch: the work of a leader
Here is a little story from one of my favourite leadership practitioners, Max De Pree, that reminds us that what a leader does is important. I often find the CEO job a rather lonely life where every move is under someone’s observation. But rather than letting this develop into a sense of strain or tension, it is important to remember that if your actions reflect your word (or intentions) then you are being authentic and effective.
Esther, my wife, and I have a grand-daughter named Zoe, the Greek word for “life”. She was born prematurely and weighed one pound, seven ounces, so small that my wedding ring could slide up her arm to her shoulders. The neonatologist who first examined her told us that she had a 5 to 10 percent chance of living three days. When Esther and I scrubbed up for our first visit and saw Zoe in her isolette in the neonatal intensive care unit, she had two IVs in her navel, one in her foot, a monitor on each side of her chest, and a respirator tube and a feeding tube in her mouth.
To complicate matters, Zoe’s biological father had jumped ship the month before Zoe was born. Realising this, a wise and caring nurse named Ruth gave me my instructions. “For the next several months, at least, you’re the surrogate father. I want you to come to the hospital every day to visit Zoe, and when you come, I would like you to rub her body and her legs and arms with the tip of your finger. While you’re caressing her, you should tell her over and over how much you love her, because she has to be able to connect your voice to your touch.”
Ruth was doing exactly the right thing on Zoe’s behalf (and, of course, on my behalf as well), and without realising it she was giving me one of the best possible descriptions of the work of a leader. At the core of becoming a leader is the need always to connect one’s voice with one’s touch. (my emphasis)
De Pree M O (1991) Leadership Jazz. Melbourne: Australian Business Library, Information Australia. pp.1-3